


Secret in the Storeroom

by miny_marshmallows



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor (?), Nohr | Conquest Route, i wrote this in a frenzy rip, this is super light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miny_marshmallows/pseuds/miny_marshmallows
Summary: Summoning Niles into what was essentially a closet was the worst possible way to get him into the gift-giving spirit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For a winter/holiday themed prompt!

Niles had never realized how hilariously short Laslow was until Laslow was bickering with a crowd. He’d really only seen him in passing, ever present and pink-haired at the hip of the Crown Prince, following along like any good retainer dog. It wasn’t a good judge of Laslow’s height; anyone would look short next to Lord Xander, who was broad shouldered, darkly armored, and pushed a good six and a half feet. It just so happened that Laslow appeared tinier than average. He was cornered by the royal retainers of Nohr, not giants, but Laslow was still a few inches shorter than everyone else sans Effie. It was furthered by the fact he was one in a group of five, and four of those people were about as cooperative as drunk wyverns. Niles watched as Laslow held a hand to his forehead and tried to talk down a livid Selena and a worried Arthur.

The room was a good two Xanders, or three Laslows, tall. Any illusion of size stopped there. The room would be lucky to be called a guest room if it was in Castle Krakenberg rather than some guard’s fort halfway across town. It was a wonder they’d managed to fit as many people in the room as they had, even with most of the boxes stacked outside in the hallway. Niles suspected the cramped room and dark lighting did nothing to curb the verbal smackdown occurring fifteen feet over on the opposite side of the room. He and Odin sat on one of the remaining boxes against the far wall, listening but not yet willing to step into the fray.

They watched as the others bickered, angry over what was probably nothing. Sure, it wasn’t every day he was summoned into a storage room for, if Laslow was to be believed, some top secret discussion. It was probably a waste of time, but Niles had done much worse. He doubted they’d receive bad news, as some of the retainers suspected despite Laslow’s insistence they wouldn’t. He glanced at Arthur’s furrowed brow, Beruka’s clenched hands. They were worrying over nothing. If it was truly something serious, then he and Odin would have been told in person by Leo, and the others would have been told by their respective employers. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t join in on the fun.

“Hm. Hey, Odin?” Niles nudged his fellow retainer with his elbow. His blue eye was trained on the group across the room.

Odin perked up, sliding a hand back over his cropped blonde hair. He slid off the box, striking what Niles would have assumed to be an erotic pose if it was anyone other than Odin. Once he was in position, with his hands on his hips and one leg propped up on the box, he spoke. “Yes, my darkest friend?”

Niles smirked and crossed his arms, “You’ve known Laslow a while, right?

Odin grinned. His voice was ever excited. “Oh yes! My great accomplice, both friend and foe! You wish to know about Laslow? Laslow of the Indigo Skies? I know much about him, and I am willing to share his fantastic feats and most terrifying adventures! What epic tale do you want to hear? What glorious rumors do you wish for me to confirm?”

“No, none of that.” Niles watched as Laslow narrowly dodged a slap from Selena, then yelped as she elbowed him in the gut. Epic, indeed. “I was just wondering… Does he have a height kink?”He felt Odin deflate besides him.

“Niles, really?” He paused to get back in character.

Odin chuckled and held a hand to his head. “I’m not surprised, coming from a darkened mind such as yours. I am afraid I cannot answer such pervasive questions.” He smirked then broke out into more theatrics. “But! I can say that the dark blue and black may shine on the pink if-”

Selena’s shrill voice rang out above Odin’s rambling. Her face was just as red as her twintails. “Geez! it’s not like some of us have duties to attend to or anything! What the hell are you even doing, bringing us all here?”

“Now, now. Selena, I’m just as curious, and confused, as you are. But please, have some patience! Our good Laslow most certainly has an explanation…. Right?” Arthur rubbed his chin, then coughed as he looked away.

Niles admired the attempt to diffuse the situation, but doubted it’d be effective in the long run. Especially when he got involved.

Laslow answered their inquiries with an irritated snipe. “Right, right! I do. You just need to wait. I simply have to keep it a secret for now.”

Niles watched Beruka mumble something obviously threatening through a blank stare, and Laslow’s flustered face drained of color.

Fantastic, Niles thought. Now would be a perfect time to step in. Hopping down from the box, he ruffled his hair, adjusted his eyepatch, and started planning just exactly how he was going to fuck with Laslow. “Hmmm, Pinky, you look so flustered,” he mouthed quietly, just to himself and Odin. A trial run. He glanced back over his shoulder with a raised brow and smug smile. “I dunno... You think it’ll work him up at all?” He shrugged and started to walk.

Odin scrambled forwards and grabbed him by the cloak. He gave it a good yank to stop him from moving. The sharp motion would have pulled the entire ensemble off of Niles’s shoulders if it wasn’t secured tightly by the metal clasp around his neck. So, instead, it just ended up choking him. Niles gagged and shot a hand to his throat to unclasp the cape, those pesky survival instincts kicking him. His blue half-cape fluttered off his shoulders, leaving a shocked Odin holding it in an outstretched hand. He turned around, discomfort in his eyes masked by irritability in his face. He raised his hands in an annoyed shrug, then crossed his arms. It was chilly in the room, and he wasn’t used to the cool air on his skin.

“Oh, come on, Odin. I just want to tease him. Bit of revenge for him bringing us all here with no explanation, yeah?”

“There is only one truth about what will happen if you go over there. It’s the bloodiest of fates. Your worst nightmare. Our worst nightmare.” Odin clicked his tongue as his face settled into a knowing scowl. He set Niles’s blue cape on his lap. “Lord Leo will not be happy.”

“Lord Leo won’t know. This whole thing- whatever it is- is a secret, remember? According to Laslow, anyways.” His rubbed his neck and pouted. “Just a teeny bit, Odin. I know he’s your friend but I can’t resist. He’s so riled up it won’t take much to set him off.”

Odin shook his head in exasperation, but dropped it nonetheless. “Just don’t be too hard on him,” he mouthed, “Please?”

“Well, Odin, I can promise I’m not gonna make it easier for him.” Niles winked and turned his back to a protesting Odin.

He twisted a strand of hair as he stalked, cat-like and poised, across the room. Laslow was slumped against one of the boxes, snug against the ground with his hands on his knee, cherishing the moment of quiet. So, when Niles approached and Laslow’s silence was interrupted by the lurking sensation of a malicious presence, all he could do was sigh, stare blankly across the room, and whisper, “Oh gods, not you too.”

Niles braced himself on the wall with one hand and toyed with the chain on his belt with the other. He grinned, allowing himself to rise onto his toes just enough to emphasize his height. Capeless and with his arms-bared, he made sure Laslow got an eyeful. His prey cornered, Niles began to tease. “So, Pinky. You have a reason for calling all of us here? Otherwise... Well, I hate to say it. But otherwise this feels like some manner of torture for you, by you. And I’m sure you know what I think about that.”

Laslow looked like he was either about to cry or snap as he looked up at Niles with pained eyes. “Yes, I do! I do, I swear! I just cannot explain at this very moment, you have to understand that I am sworn to secrecy here.”

If Niles was a better person, he would have stopped there. He would have granted Laslow the mercy he sought and walked back to his spot by Odin. But he wasn’t. And, damn, the look on his face was just too priceless to ignore.

“Aw, if only you could see your expression. It’s delightful! So flushed, so pink… Just like your hair, Pinky. I can’t help but wonder if, by the Dusk Dragon, you’re enjoying this.” Laslow churned when Niles continued. “I wouldn’t take you for the masochistic type, no. And I doubt Lord Xander would, either.”

The door clicked open at the same time Laslow stood, and Niles tried to hide his joy at the other man being unable to defend himself once again. He purred at Laslow, then averted his attention to the now open door.

“Oh, Laslow, you really did gather everyone!” Lady Corrin herself stepped inside the door, hair as white as the light behind her, and the room went quiet. “I don’t think I can thank you enough.” She raised her voice to address the rest of the room. “Sorry for being a bit late, everyone! Charlotte and I had to get some things settled at the castle before heading out.”

“What?! Lady Corrin had you bring us here? Laslow, you dumbass, why didn’t you say something earlier?” He could feel the seething rage in Selena’s voice as she broke the silence to hiss. She walked across the room just to shove Laslow with a firm palm to the shoulder, ignoring his stream of ‘I couldn’ts.’

Corrin’s white hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, loose strands spilling over her shoulders. Charlotte followed. She pecked Lady Corrin on the cheek then dropped a hand to rest on her waist. Her other hand rested on the handle of her axe. Laslow, still reeling from Selena’s assault, met them halfway across the room.

“It’s a wonder I managed. It was like herding cats, milady!” Laslow exhaled and started discussion with Corrin.

“Now, if everyone will just gather around me over here. I’ll explain everything!” Corrin held her hand over her head and gestured. She had a goofy smile on her face as they settled into a circle, Laslow on her left, Charlotte behind her and a little to her right. Niles settled in between Odin and Arthur, his arms crossed.

Laslow smiled despite the stress in his face, “The floor’s all yours, Lady Corrin.”

“Thank you so much for being so patient-” Niles thought he could hear Laslow scoff at Corrin’s words. “-I promise you it’ll be worth it.” She smiled. “So, as you all know, Winter’s Veil is just around the corner, and I would like to do something really nice for my siblings. I enlisted Laslow here to help me, because I feel like he’d be the easiest to get into the spirit of the holliday.” She stopped for a moment, gauging reactions.

“And, well, I thought I’d go to the people who know them the best, so I had him gather you all. I want you to go Winter’s Veil shopping for your lieges. I’d go myself, and I probably will later but, um.” Corrin looks over her shoulder at Charlotte, who gives her wrist a squeeze of encouragement. “I trust that you guys would do a better job. I mean I spent most of my life locked up in a castle away from them, you’ve been with them longer.”

Odin’s sharp gasp at the reveal was the only warning Niles got before his partner’s hand latched to his upper arm with an iron grip. His excited expression told Niles all he needed to know. Niles held a finger to his lips, shushing his fellow retainer before he could break into a melodramatic speech.

“I apologize for the secrecy, but I want this to be a surprise for them. I felt as though I couldn’t keep it quiet if I told you guys what Laslow and I were planning.” It was difficult to ignore all of the eyes in the room turning to him and Odin. “I’m sure my siblings will still suspect something is up, but the holiday is right around the corner. They’ll probably figure out it’s related.”

“Any concerns?”

It was Beruka of all people who expressed her opinion in a cool, monotone voice. “Who will do Lady Camilla’s bidding in my steed? I will not leave her unguarded.”

Corrin’s face dropped and Charlotte stiffened. Her grip on the axe tightened.

Niles hooked his thumbs over his belt and spoke out, “Of course I’d do anything to please Milord Leo, but I have to agree with Beruka here. I think he’d prefer for me to do my job.”

A second voice chimed in, “Yeah, Lady Elise needs my protection more than a gift. I’d love to do something nice for her, but I won’t leave her alone all day.” Effie glared over at him, like she couldn’t believe she agreed with something he said. Niles stuck his tongue through his teeth and grinned back at her.

There were musings of agreement from the other retainers. Niles looked to Corrin for answers.

To her left, Laslow smiled mischievously. He rubbed his hands together and nodded at Corrin. A small victory in the carnage. “Oh, you didn’t think we’d leave our lieges defenseless, did you?”

“Of course not!” Corrin smiled, expression bouncing back. She rose onto her toes as she continued to address the small crowd. “That’s where my retainers come in! I’ve already assigned one or two to watch over each of my siblings. I know they’re more than capable to take your places for the day while you guys shop.”

“So, that being said I think we can agree that you’re all set to go shopping. I have some funds here, each of you will get an equivalent share...” Corrin continued explaining the details, retainers mostly satisfied by her solution, and if not satisfied then quieted. It was obvious how enthusiastic Corrin was about the holiday season. Even Niles couldn’t bring himself to voice any further complaints. But that was less because of whatever obligation he had to please please Corrin and more due to the violent shadow of gold and white that loomed behind the princess.

Charlotte bounced an axe in her hand, silver blade glinting almost as dangerously as her eyes. Her doll-blonde hair and soft face were fooling no one, but then again in the presence of the court retainers she had nothing to hide. Eyes were all too easily drawn to the corded muscles of her arms, the definition of her stomach, for her to be able to deny what she was capable of. As if on cue, Charlotte’s face twisted into a grimace as she drew the blade of the axe over her throat, her expression mimicking death. She then proceeded to lock eyes with each retainer in the room, a clear enough sign should anyone dare back out.

He wasn’t getting out of this one, even if he wanted. Corrin’s retainers it was.

Corrin clasped her hands together, expression filled to the brim with light, “Now, go on! Pick up your funds and break!”

Niles felt Odin shaking besides him, his grip growing ever more tense on his arm. “As much as I love the feeling of you squeezing me, Odin, I’d much prefer to regain circulation in my hand before it rots off.”

He tugged his arm out of Odin’s grip and rubbed the sore skin. The usual lit in his voice was filled with annoyance as he snarked, “Wow, Odin. You have a tight grip.”

“It’s my fel hand, Niles!”

“Whatever, Odin. I don’t feel like getting decapitated today. Grab my cape and let’s get going.”

-

It was evening by the time Odin and Niles returned to Castle Krakenberg. They’d spent the day roaming the market district of Windmire in the search from something they deemed appropriate to gift to Leo. The first part of their search had turned up noot. Odin had an unfortunate run in with a bucket of red clothes dye which resulted in them being kicked out of the clothing store where they had actually found the perfect present; a collar almost identical to the one Leo wore, only that it was blue on both sides so it’d be impossible to tell if it was inside out or not. But, after a second look at the price tag on the way out, they wouldn’t have been able to afford it with the allocated funds anyways. Overmarked, probably. Scrapped for time, Niles roped Odin into enchanting a tomato plant which resulted in the final incarnation of Leo’s gift: a basket of the plumpest, ripest tomatoes Odin’s spellwork could manage.

Niles tucked the present under his cot in the barracks then met Odin in the mess hall. They ate, harassed the patrons unfortunate to share a table with them, and collected themselves in a study just off the main hall for their reunion with Leo, ready to receive whatever orders he’d give them for the night.

He stood rather than sat next to Odin. The dark mage was sprawled across the entire couch like he owned it anyways, his head on a pillow and feet on an armrest as he blabbered on about weapon names. Niles ignored him, per usual.

They weren’t kept waiting long. The door clicked open and the empty space was filled with Leo’s lean figure. He was still armored, his collar high and chin higher. But he moved stiffly, shutting the door behind him with a straight back and bent arm, brow furrowed like his older brother’s.

Odin was the first to greet him, waving at his liege and stammering to his feet. He smoothed out his robes and stood by Niles, greeting Leo with open arms. “Oh! Milord Leo! Niles and me were waiting for you!”

But Niles wasn’t so happy. He immediately knew something was wrong when Leo didn’t correct Odin’s grammar. Instead Leo stared through them. Distant, as if he was eyeing them through a body of water rather than from the opposite side of a room. Maybe Leo just spotted the red dye and was about to reprimand him. Steadily, he approached. Niles gulped.

Leo stopped in front of them and Odin stopped fidgeting.

Now that he was closer, Leo looked dazed, like he’d been struck in the back of the head and was still seeing stars. Niles had half a mind to ask if he was alright, to sit Leo down and offer him a glass of water and a good book that he’d certainly refuse. His offer was stopped mid sentence by the insistent shaking of Leo’s hand.

His liege remained quiet, head low and expression puzzled, as he stepped between the two of them. There he hovered, hands on his hips and tongue poking the inside of his cheek. The silence was impregnable, awkward, and so absolute that not even Odin dared to interrupt.

The quiet allowed Niles some time to look over his liege. Read his body language, take some guesses as to what was wrong. But instead of anything substantial Niles noted with some shock that Leo was taller than the both of them. Not by much. By an inch, inch and a half in Odin’s case, but enough to be noticeable. It seemed that Leo’s height had finally caught up to his older siblings. Maybe they actually shared blood after all. Niles straightened his back and wondered how he’d missed that earlier.

One of Leo’s hands found Niles’s shoulder, the other one found Odin’s, and soon enough he was braced between them. He hung his head low enough for his headband to slip from behind his ears.

Niles looked over at Odin then back to Leo, the purple collar inside-out (of course) around his neck, the sway of his blonde hair. He started, worried. “Milord-”

“Corrin’s retainer is an asshole.” Leo cut him off. He scoffed. Clicked his tongue. His hands squeezed Niles’s shoulder tighter, then Odin’s. “The grey haired one. Jakob.” Leo stopped speaking just as quickly as he started, ending his thoughts with a sigh.

Leo met Odin’s gaze, then Niles’s. His expression softened. He smirked and pushed between them, giving them each a last firm pat on the shoulder that lingered for just a second too long. His hands busied themselves with fixing his hairband. He called back as he walked away, deeper into the study. “I’m glad to have you two. You’re dismissed for the rest of the night. Get some rest, you deserve it. ”

Niles was glad Odin had the good taste to wait until they’d exited the study, Leo long out of earshot, to break out in ecstasy. He grabbed Niles by the shoulders and began to shake him hard enough to kill an infant. “Milord Leo rained his praises upon us! Niles, he sounded proud! Proud of us! This is certainly a moment to remember! A story to pass down through the ages! This is for the books, Niles!”

He pried Odin off of him. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get too excited, Odin. He’s just happy to no longer be dealing with that prick. There will still be armor to polish and weapons to sharpen in the morning.”

But Niles would be lying if he said he wasn’t warmed, however slightly, by Leo’s words. He turned to Odin with a grin. “Lord Leo seemed a bit more scatterbrained than usual.” Niles pointed at his neck, then drew a mock-shape of a collar with his fingers. “You saw it, didn’t you?”

Odin gasped and broke out of his pose. “Was it inside out again?”

“What do you think?”

Holding his waist, Odin sputtered through laughter. “Milord Leo! Menacing, colder than ice, and harder than steel. He’s a magical genius, a tactical prodigy the likes of which are locked in the strongest of safes in my mind. Spilled blood and had his blood spilled... But he can’t manage to put his collar on the right way.”

“Of course. I wonder how Lord Leo gets dressed without us. Oh well. One of his siblings will tell him to fix it if they catch him before bed.” Niles paused. “Probably.”

They exchanged words of parting. Niles twisted a strand of white hair.

“Also, Odin? I think I’m headed out tonight. Lord Leo might need something a little bit extra for the festival. A second gift. Don’t try and kill me when I return late. Or, do. See what happens.”

Odin grinned back. “Is it for what I think it is?”

Niles only smirked.

-

Winter’s Veil came with a flurry of white snow. It was always dark in Nohr, but the snow seemed to lighten the country just a tad. Lady Corrin was certainly pleased with it, nose glued to the far window of the banquet hall as she stared with Charlotte at the snowfall in awe.

Niles watched as Peri tackled-hugged Xander, then stared in shock as Lord Xander, the same man who commanded the same amount of respect from the throne as he did in battle, offered Laslow his other arm then pulled him into the impromptu hug as well. Gods, he even laughed. His gift from his retainers, some fancy bottle of wine, almost fell off the end table when they backed into it.

Camilla was smothering her retainers in a hug so tight Niles was baffled she hadn’t broken any limbs. They were curled up on the couch, expressionless Beruka under Camilla’s arm and Selena forced into Camilla’s lap. Lady Camilla herself alternated between sobbing into Selena’s hair and Beruka’s scarf. Niles wondered if she noticed the blood stains on the (personally engraved!) axe her retainers had gifted her, or if she even cared. The brutal weapon, huge and cruel and carved out of cold steel, leaned against the back of the couch, a contrast to the sweet words Camilla whispered to her retainers, “I can’t believe you did this for sweet, sweet Corrin, darlings.”

Nohr’s bright light herself, Elise, was perched on Effie’s shoulders. The princess was wrapped in a bright red and white sweater. Magically-infused lights lit up the trees patterned into the fabric in an array of colors. She was giggling like mad as Arthur detailed the story of exactly how difficult it was to enchant the sweater, in no small part due to her retainer’s lack of magical prowess.

Niles stuck to the side of room, seated in a chair while patiently waiting with a notably less patient Odin for Leo to arrive. He thought the happiness was suffocating. Leo hadn’t even arrived yet so Niles felt out of place watching it unfold, like someone stuck a rag labeled ‘holiday cheer’ down his throat and wanted him to choke on it. Every laugh felt like a brand, another pin pricking into his skin. But if it meant Niles wouldn’t lose his head via Charlotte’s axe, and Lord Leo would be pleased, then just maybe it would be worth it.

And Leo never kept them waiting for long. He briskly walked into the room, carrying himself like he was wearing his armor rather than a tunic. He held a glass of water in place of Brynhildr and promptly set it at the side table nearest Xander. Leo nodded at his brother, then made his way over to his retainers.

Leo wrinkled his nose, “Sorry I’m late. I heard Xander laugh and I didn’t want his throat to cramp from lack of use.” He rubbed his hands together and nodded at his retainers, “but I’m here now. Not punctual, but here.”

“Fashionably late, Milord!” Odin grinned, his hands on his hips. “It’s just good to see you well.”

Leo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I suppose.”

“I didn’t know fashion was a concept you were familiar with, Odin.” Niles snarked and reached under his seat for the gift- a wicker basket with a white cloth draped over the top to hide its contents. It looked almost like a cloud ready to burst. He set it on his lap to make sure it was all together before passing it to Leo. “Let’s not draw this out any long than it need be. But, of course, we brought a gift for you too, Lord Leo.”

Leo sat down opposite from him and Odin, his brow curiously pushed together. He looked the basket over then folded the cloth away. His expression was puzzled at first, like he wasn’t sure what he was looking at besides a mass of red. Then he smiled softly and held one of the tomatoes up to the light with an expression of wonder not usually reserved for vegetables. “Tomatoes? This time of year?”

“Your favorite food, milord! Vegetables grown by your trusted retainer himself, Odin Dark!”

Niles chewed his lip. “Odin, we know who you are.”

“Actually, Odin, tomatoes aren’t vegetables. They’re technically a fruit.” Leo’s voice was smug even over the smile on his face. He set the tomato back down in the basket with the rest. “I should thank you either way. You grew them yourself?”

“With the grand assistance of some research and at the suggestion of Niles. It was his brilliant idea.” He winked at Niles. “You didn’t think I’d leave you in the dark, did you?”

“You humble me.”

Leo nodded then wrapped his arms around the basket. “Impressive. This sort of spellwork is extraordinarily tiresome. You’ll have to teach me.”

“Oh but Milord, look in the bottom.” Niles grinned. “There’s another gift.”

Leo kept his smile even as he stacked the ridiculous amount of tomatoes on the table in front of him. He made his way to the bottom of the basket and pulled out a neatly folded square of blue fabric. “What… What is this?”

Niles answered, leaning on his forearms.“It’s a collar, like your normal one, just blue on both sides.”

“Specifically picked from the finest tailors in all of Nohr! It was the most grueling of tasks to hunt it down!”

“Thank you,” Leo rolled the fabric between his hands, “It will match my armor well, but I don’t quite follow. I already have a collar.”

Smirking, Niles purred. “But this one will match whether it’s inside out or not.”

Leo’s face drained when it hit him. He covered it with the collar. “Gods.”

As a red-faced Leo stuffed the collar back into the basket, and Odin snickered in the background, Niles decided it a gift worth giving.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn! If you've made it this far you're a real trooper. I know this is probably a really rocky read because it's my first fic, but I do appreciate that you've read all the way through. So, thanks!
> 
> This was written pretty last minute and is super rushed, so there will likely be a looot of editing over the next couple days. 
> 
> As I'm sure you can tell, I'm not even good at IRL gift giving.


End file.
